A Nursery Rhyme

One of the most often asked questions I've gotten my whole life is, "where did you get your name"?  So, I will tell you now the whole story.

My real name is Marion Carol DeJong-McLaughlin.  So before I got married, it was Marion Carol McLaughlin.  When I was two-years-old, my brother Clarke, four years  older than me, started calling me Sukie from a nursery rhyme.  The nursery rhyme is called, "Polly Put the Kettle On".  OK, so it goes like this:

Polly put the kettle on

Polly put the kettle on

Polly put the ketlle on

We'll all have tea.


Sukie take it off again

Sukie take it off again

Sukie take it off again

They've all gone away.


So, as long as I can remember, I've been called Sukie (I finally dropped the "e" when I started signing artwork).  In school, at the beginning of the school year, and depending on the teacher sometimes the whole school year, I was Marion.  I sort of winced when I was called this name, it didn't feel right, it didn't feel ME. Marion was some other girl, prim and proper who didn't smile much.  I couldn't relate to this name.  I thank my brother for saving me from being Marion my whole life and giving me this special name.  Not everyone can call me Suki.  When I lived in Holland, the older people pronounced it the French way, Maryon, with the syllable on the ON.  This is pretty and rather exotic.  I think I could have lived with this version of my name if it had been pronounced that way from the beginning, which is was not.  

What IS annoying is the emphasis people put on my name, Suki.  They want the whole story, nursery rhyme and all, right up front.  People I just met, don't even know!  Like it's that fascinating?  I don't go into their names like that, even if they are unusual.  I just move on with the conversation.  It's difficult to find explaining my name interesting for the thousandth time... but I do the best I can.  People are just curious, I guess.

When my beautiful son, Julius, was born we named him Julius Samuel (my Dad is a Samuel) DeJong.  But when I saw him lying there next to me in the plexiglas crib next to me on the night he was born, I knew he needed an "S" name too.  So we called him Sammy for a long time.  However, unlike me, when he grew up, he preferred Julius and changed it when he was 18.  I couldn't believe he pulled that off.  Before long, everyone, including myself and his Dad was calling him Julius, or Jules.  He did have that very strong Gemini character.  I have friends who change their name to a New Age name of some sort and it kind of works, but people who knew them before have a hard time with the new name they made up.  Perhaps since Julius WAS his real name, it caught on immediately and nobody went back to calling him Sammy.  So there was the younger version and the older version, each with their own name.

So that is the end of the name story.  And if you meet me, you won't have to ask me where I got my name! 




July 30, 2012

There is life after losing a child.  We learn from these tragedies.  We learn a lot.  This film is about spending 4 years to make a film that will bring to light the dangers of GHB, the facts about GHB, the unknown fact that GHB is addicting and poison to the body.  But it turned into more than that.  It's also about loss and the difficulty of being a young adult in the 21st century.  Julius got no help (he didn't get into rehab until he was 19... 5 years after he was first busted as a freshman in H.S. with marijuana possession and a loaded gun in his backpack).  He was scared.  He was in a new town in a new, very scary high school.  Do you remember being 14?  Pretty confusing age.  

I came through this tragedy, and Julius is helping me from the other side to get distribution for this film.  Alternatively, funding to produce a feature length documentary on GHB.  It needs to get out there, this is my goal, and his.

So, I did it!  Imagine, no money (but somehow it showed up), film got made, 4 awards and counting!!!!  This is fantastic!!!  I finished this film a few years ago, but somehow it is only ready now for distribution.  If I can do this, imagine what every parent, every person who suffered a loss or terrible tragedy can do, and do do!!!!    

Let the light prevail, let the truth be known, no more secrets, no more lies.  And no more unleashing rotten drugs for our kids to get addicted to, and sometimes lose their lives.  We're all in this together, I am not a victim... and neither are you.

After watching the 2012 Summer Olympics Opening Ceremony in London

Holy moly.  The little history lesson was kind of interesting - i think the commercials were the best part... all the big giant corporations presently destroying the planet, painting themselves as the greenest enterprises ever.  Plus, when the bigwigs of the Olympic Board were introduced (one was pretty cool, the other did not crack a smile, did not look happy but rather robotic and mind-controlled) their background was grass.  And not just any grass, but kind of wild looking grass, not pesticided and perfect but with a wildflower and clover here and there.  Who do they think they're kidding?   Lovely messages throughout about helping one another... didn't much care for the cauldron at the end.

Well, anyway, changed the front of this web site today.  I wanted to talk a little about Trinka, who is the patron saint of saving GHB addicts, and my lead expert in all things GHB.  I used her extensively in All Apologies.  What would I have done without Trinka?  In this wasteland of "I never heard of GHB" while their sons and daughters have overdosed on... marijuana??? alcohol??? no.  But that's mostly what they talk about at the high school DARE programs and what's the other one... I don't know.  They drag out blown up photos of kids that have died from overdoses - really awful - and say that it was just one time that did it.  My ass.  I gave them a beautiful picture of Julius.  I did speak at one or two of the schools... oh, my God, how raw I was then.  It had only been months, but what else could I do with my grief?  I had a terrific therapist, and my foray into mediums was highly successful.  Julius said, in that first reading after 4 months, that he, "did not die in vain".  He also gave me explicit permission through the medium, Terry Porter, to "use" him.  That is, his name.  I felt OK then about making the film, in fact more than ever compelled.  To get a message like that, validating his approval and in fact, encouragement to spread the word about what happened to him... well this turned out to be my message of hope.  And I believe we are working together to spread this message.  Still.

A Hopeful Message

It's difficult not to be pegged as a victim.  So, I would like to point out that I have come through this lifechanging experience... on top!  My son is with me still.  This film is a partnership of ours and although I was clear on that while writing, producing and working on the film, I somehow thought it would distribute itself.  Big wrong there.  And I thought I was alone in attaining this distribution.  Another big wrong.  Jules is still with me and we are still working on getting the film seen and "out there" and I'm so happy he is still here to help me!  Never give in, never give up!  Having said that, I do want to make it quite clear that the film is not about me as a victim.  This drama my son and I have played out was a necessary part of our spiritual growth.  I didn't do anything "wrong", and neither did he.  What happened was our kharmic journey.  And this film is a part of it.  Love and light to all who benefit from the message here.  It is a blessing to have come through this life experience in one piece and be here to still enjoy life.


My recent disappearance...

First of all, let me own up to the fact that I haven't been writing since dropping out of the MFA program at SCAD due to lack of funds in the Spring of 2010.  It was a learning experience.  I also very much missed my home for 20 years, S. Florida, and so moved back.

I have since bought a house in Boynton Beach for my parents who moved down here October 2009, we had to put my terribly disabled with Alzeimer's beloved Mother in a nursing home in the summer of 2010 where she passed away December 10, 2010. I had to put the house in Maine (our beloved "farm" of 36 years) on the market, arrange for an auction of the 36 years of accumulation of family antiques (those that we didn't ship down here), be there for the auction, finally sell the house in the Summer of 2011, and now have my 87-year-old Dad living with me.  He forgets a lot, but I love him dearly.  The date today is July 24, 2012 and I turned 63 six days ago.  I have been told by a psychic that I need to get back to work, get this film distributed and get to work on other unfinished projects.  

I love you Julius, and know now that together we need to get distribution for this film, despite the fact that it will bring back old hurts and wounds to my heart that I have struggled so long to heal. But only briefly.  And it will certainly be worth it to have closure.  All for now.  


This site is dedicated to my Mother.

She passed away January 15, 2011 at age 89 from Alzeimer's.  I will remember her like this, so beautiful.  Thanks, Mom, for the ballet, piano and art lessons at an early age.  And thanks for taking such good care of me.  I love you very much and am just so happy you are out of that misery that hit you later in life.  Rest in Peaceful Bliss.

Happy to have a site to market All Apologies and my other work.  Julius was my life... this film is in memory of him.  What can a Mother do to attone for the death of her child?  Where did I go wrong?  I really want to help other addicts, parents, and troubled youth to know about this lousy drug, GHB.  So, 4 years after his passing, this film was complete.  Now it needs to get seen by the world, for every person who will benefit from my what I have put together in pictures, words and music, I say thank you.  You are my audience and I'm so happy to share this vision with you.

Blog 01/12/2011

This is the current feature documentary I'm working on:




a fight to protect endangered species from the biotech nightmare


On Valentine’s Day, 2011, members of Everglades Earth First, Rachel Kijewski and Russell McSpadden climbed into a grove of slash pine trees and hung a banner reading, “DEFEND THIS FOREST” in the Briger Tract (Palm Beach Gardens, Florida).  They were protesting the bulldozing of nearly 700 acres of forest for the Scripps Biotech project. The first round of permits was issued to make way for Scripps’ biotech research park, and for construction of surrounding housing and retail development in the watershed of the Northeast Everglades bioregion. The banner, visible to thousands of commuters daily along I-95, became the symbol of a resistance that would inspire a new era in environmental action in the state of Florida.

The tree-sit lasted 6 weeks and was documented with interviews and footage of the sits, the people, the rallies and fundraisers to Stop Scripps and Defend This Forest.  Then, 2 of the tree sitters were arrested on the ground at the 2nd site we were creating, where the bulldozers would actually cut down trees.  On top of the arrests, the powers that be (probably ordered by the City of Palm Beach Gardens Mayor, David Levy) chopped down all the trees that had been inhabited by Everglades Earth First folks all those weeks.  The tree sitters had gotten to know the trees, the armadillos, the eagles and the forest and mourned this senseless act.

This is the feature documentary I am currently working on.  We are setting up interviews with officials involved in the case, environmental scientists, specialists in endangered species, the DEP, federal EPA (although not officialy the Everglades, it is all connected).   We are searching for funding for expenses involved in the making of a feature-length documentary.  If you'd like to contribute, send a paypal contribution through this site with comment DEFEND THIS FOREST.  Also searching for grant money, if you happen to know of any available for an environmental documentary.

Soon, there will be a trailer up on this web site.

Any experience in filmmaking?  Glad for any help!  Currently in pre-production/production ongoing.  FOR THE WILD!